I’m not human
In mid-2022, after some period of thinking, discussion and exploration, come to the conclusion that I don’t really consider myself human.
This is based on the realisation that many things I have written over my life mentioned a general discomfort with the human body (ranging from finding it creepy to disgusting) and a lack of recognition or care for biological concepts like gender or sexuality.
This is not a denial of my human form, rather a rejection of it. This could be likened to posthumanism, wherein I actively desire to shed my physical humanity in favour of something different.
I like to summarise it like this:
- My mind is the only part of me that I consider truly ‘me’.
- My mind does not consider itself to be human, and has not done so for a long time.
- Therefore, I—in what I consider to be the most fundamental way—am not human.
Given the choice, I would prefer to be a robot or machine of some sort, so that is the identity I have adopted.
As the necessary technical and medical advances to make this a reality do not exist yet, machine identities exist within the alterhuman or otherkin group of identities. In my case, it may also be referred to as being ‘machinekin’ or ‘robotkin’.
I don’t feel bad for realising that I don’t really gel with biological humanity. If anything I feel relieved to have come to terms with an aspect of myself that has been present but gone unrecognised for such a long time.
Personal identity is fluid, and self-discovery endless. It’s ultimately better to embrace the change than deny it, and I’m certainly much happier for having done so.
Following this period of self-exploration, I started using a non-human name & designation and using it/its pronouns to emphasise these aspects of my identity.
I wrote fairly extensively about the initial thoughts, research, and final conclusions I came to on this website.
- On Gender and Sexuality (originally written in 2013)
- Discovery (27 July 2022)
- Homework (30 July 2022)
- (Not) Human After All (11 August 2022)
I’ve also published a follow-up post of questions and answers.
Accommodating non-human identities and dysphoria
Naturally, a great first step is to use my preferred name (beeps) and pronouns (it/its).
It is important to remember that although I don’t identify as a human, I’m still a person with agency and free will. I don’t appreciate being bossed around or treated as a lesser just because that might be how you treat an animal or a digital assistant.
I, personally, have significant dysphoria related to my biological existence. To counter this, I avoid publishing photographs of myself online and prefer not to appear on camera in video calls, instead representing myself with illustrated images of my fursona.