I’m a apothi asexual. This means I do not experience sexual or physical attraction. I find the very idea of sexual relations to be off-putting.
This has been the case for my entire life. I have never experienced physical attraction to anyone. This could be attributed to my attitudes to the human form in general, although it is described as early as 2013 in “On Gender and Sexuality”.
However, I’m also panromantic and still seek out non-sexual romantic relationships. Where I do, sex and gender don’t come into consideration.
The separation of sexual attraction from romantic attraction is called the Split Attraction Model.
Why is this relevant?
Although sexuality doesn’t play much of a role in my day-to-day life, I consider my asexuality to be a major part of who I am. It’s one of the longest-standing parts of my identity and pretty much the only one that has remained unchanged throughout the decades.
It also feels important for me to emphasise it for visibility purposes. Asexuals are often overlooked in wider LGBTQIA+ conversations and there are still various legal issues that asexual people face in modern society.
For example, in the UK, opposite-sex marriages may be considered void unless both parties consummate the marriage in an ‘ordinary and complete’ way (aka, engage in heterosexual sex).
The American Psychiatric Associations’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) considers lack of libido to be a mental dysfunction.
The WHO’s International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) consider a lack of sexual desire, aversion to sexual activity and lack of libido to be sexual dysfunctions.
Discrimination against asexual people remains prevalent but is often underreported in the media.
I mention this, not because I alone expect to change the world, but because representation matters—and the louder you are about being a minority, the more comfortable others in that minority can feel about being loud themselves.