The Year of Health

As alluded to in my previous post, some things managed to be a bit rough on my anxiety and mental health in 2024.

At least some of the things were related to my physical health.

Things aren’t awful. I’m not (knowingly) at imminent threat of any serious health issues, but things could be better, and they probably should be better.

Thus, 2025 is my designated Year of Health.

Where we’re at

Having recently had various clinical checks for gender reasons, I have a reasonably complete picture of what my physical health is like at the moment. More complete than usual, at least.

I am pretty overweight, with a BMI of around 30. (BMI is a very flawed system and I don’t really care for it, but I’d rather not disclose any ‘real’ numbers here.) A not insignificant amount of this weight was put on during the Covid lockdowns.

My cholesterol is a little on the bad side, but not close to causing issues.

My blood sugar is also a little higher than average, with some (but not all) blood tests putting me close to (but not in the range of) being prediabetic. As those tests were not fasted, I’m assuming that the ones closer to the diabetic range are likely to be because of having had something sugary beforehand and aren’t a major worry.

My blood pressure is very high, being variably very close to or within the hypertension range.

My cardiovascular health, in general, is pretty dire, with a resting heart rate typically between 85 and 95 BPM, reaching over 150 BPM when under strain.

I quite likely have undiagnosed asthma and sleep apnoea.

All of the above factors have contributed to mounting medical anxiety, especially as any of them going too far into the red poses an existential risk to my continuing HRT.

The plan

Tell me if you’ve heard this one before.

Diet…

I already stopped drinking soda (both diet and non-diet variants) when at home in 2023. At the time, I replaced them with isotonic drinks, but towards the end of last year, I made a conscious choice to cut those out too and just start drinking more water.

I’ve never really had much of a sweet tooth—I’ll take a sausage roll over a Swiss roll—but I think I probably need to cut back on sugary snacks as well.

Similarly, I probably need to cut down on salty things. I don’t feel like I eat that much salt already, but it has a way of sneaking into things. The most obvious things to cut here might just be fried chicken and instant noodles, which kinda sucks, because I looooove fried chicken and instant noodles.

Before Christmas, I was drinking two serves of (sugar-free!) energy drink powder most mornings which, unbeknownst to me until recently, was the caffeine equivalent of drinking like… five espressos. Yikes! That explains the blood pressure. I think I need to wean myself off having caffeine regularly, and save it for when I actually am falling asleep at my desk.

I’m bad at calorie counting. I know I’m bad at calorie counting. I’ve tried doing it multiple times over the years, and it has only introduced its own problems. I’d rather not resort to it again.

Each of these points to my major blind spot, which is that I just don’t really pay attention to what’s in what I eat. I enjoy food, I enjoy the process and background of food, I like trying new things and returning to my comfort meals alike.

I don’t know what’s in them, I don’t tend to care what’s in them, and I don’t really want to cut anything I truly enjoy out of my life.

Rather than cut out too much, my thinking is just to eat less of it. Smaller portions, fewer snacks, and see how that goes.

…and exercise

No amount of dieting is going to resolve some of the issues. For that I, begrudgingly, need to think about exercising.

I do not like exercise and I never have. Even as a young 'un, short bursts of physical exertion have felt distressing and ruinous. In hindsight, the asthma I suspect I have is probably why.

For many years now, I’ve tried to keep some level of cardio going by going on a good walk at least once a week. Nothing wild, just a few hours going at a leisurely pace around town.

As you might expect, this hasn’t been consistent: sometimes the weather is awful, sometimes you don’t feel physically up for it, and sometimes you just want to do something else. Regardless, it seems that it just doesn’t suffice anymore.

With the present state of discourse around transgender people and locker rooms, joining a gym is out of the question, and I cringe at the idea of exercising in a public space anyway.

I think it’s time to dust off the ol’ stationary bicycle. I originally bought it during the Covid lockdowns, but it’s been mostly unused since those restrictions ended.

The NHS recommends at least 150 minutes of exercise a week, so that’s my starting point: 30 minutes of cycling each weekday.

…and actually talking to people

I should really get the suspected asthma and sleep apnea looked at. They’re only two of the many, many quibbles I have with my physical health, but they might be the most important.

On the mental health front, I should probably do some more to talk about my anxieties again before they fester for too long.

These are just cases of making appointments and seeing them through, which after the Year of Order, I ought to be pretty good at.

In summary

For my benefit as much as yours.

• Eat smaller portions and fewer snacks.
• Avoid anything too sugary or salty.
• Continue the current plan of avoiding soda at home and drinking more water.
• Significantly reduce caffeine intake, only using it when it’s needed.
• Aim to do at least 30 minutes of cycling each day.
• Book doctor’s appointments for the things that are troubling me.
• Be more communicative about how I feel in the moment.

My thoughts going in

I fully expect things to suck, at least at first.

I’m going to be tired, hungry, and miserable. I’m probably going to struggle with doing my job, with doing anything social, and with achieving much of anything for a while.

I hate the thought of it. I hate the idea of being unreliable, letting people down, or missing out on things, all because of some stupid health kick I’ve decided to go on.

But it feels necessary, and it feels unignorable. Especially now that I’m on ‘proper’ HRT and approaching the precipice of having a body I don’t entirely despise, it feels like the right time to put aside other obligations and put some effort into the one part of me that I’ve never had much love for.

My hope is that these things will eventually pass and I’ll adapt to these changes becoming normal the hard way, but only time will tell.

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