Things are still a bit of a mess.
As last month, the whole ‘diet and exercise’ part of this gig has fallen to the wayside a bit. I mean, I’m still eating more veggies than ever beore, but doing it as an actual concerned effort has been secondary to everything else.
Physical health
I officially have a diagnosis of asthma now. The neat thing is that it doesn’t seem terribly bad asthma, being fairly situational and avoidable with lifestyle choices (e.g. not running around like a loon). I’ve got a maintenace inhaler that I’ll probably be using for the rest of my life, but that’s about it.
I’ve been put back on blood pressure medication, and had more medication added to my prescriptions, as my blood pressure readings began climbing again a short while after stopping. I’m also getting referred to a hypertension clinic for it.
Last month’s scare about kidney function issues seemed like a false positive triggered by the food poisoning. Follow up tests had function back to normal, but they’re still planning to ultrasound my kidneys to see if there’s an issue with blood flow to them, which could be a contributing factor to the hypertension.
I had a fresh eye test to see if hypertension was affecting my vision at all, and it seems it hasn’t.
Little victories.
I have dates given for my sleep apnea study too, which is happening in early May. Not too soon either, I’ve felt utterly exhausted lately. Some days I just can’t even last until bedtime without an extra three or four hours of sleep. I miss caffeine.
So, drumroll for the list please, 🥁🥁🥁🥁. I’m waiting for:
- probably another half a dozen doctor’s appointments and blood tests.
- an appointment with the hypertension clinic.
- an ultrasound to check on my kidneys.
- a referral to a speech therapist.
- a referral for laser hair removal.
- the sleep study.
The dermatologist referral has dropped off the list for now, at my request. I’m dealing with enough medical shit as it is, and that one is minor enough that I’d rather deal with it later rather than keep it in the mix.
Mental health
Not great.
It’s almost as if months of being told that you could have a stroke at any moment contributes to heightened medical anxiety. This doubly sucks because having medical anxiety makes having that stroke even more likely.
I had my first check in with my gender doctor since shit first went down in February, and it was their opinion that I stop taking HRT until my blood pressure is back under control too.
They don’t think that HRT is actually contributing to it, because it’s apparently been so ineffective that my hormone balance is barely different to what it was before, but in the interests of safety, that’s the advice.
So little progress made so far, and no progress at all to be made in the near future. That news just left me despondant.
On top of that, the news around the Supreme Court and difficulties in home life have just compounded how stressed out I feel about everything.
Honestly, it feels like the universe is trying to kill me, and it’s slowly succeeding.
I don’t know what to do. Maybe I need to take an extended break from work, maybe I need to go on holiday for a month, maybe I need a butler to do all my housework for me, so that I can focus my energies on actually getting better. It certainy feels more and more like something needs to change.